Movie character big Brother
by lozza1989
Summary: Wonder what it would be like if various Movie characters all went into the big brother house? well now you can with this crazy story. No Flames! Includes a special guest Housemate. Please read and review.
1. Chapter 1

Movie character- big brother

A crowd of fans gather outside the big Brother house and cheer as Davina Mccall takes her place at the stage wearing ridiculas high heels and a yellow bedsheet (actually it's her dress but it looks like a bedsheet).

"Hello all you wonderful people and welcome to a very special addition of big Brother, this one is going to be the best yet because this series is going to have, Movie characters". The audience cheers and hats fly everywhere. "That's right, various Movie characters will be staying in the big brother house and I would like to introduce our first Housemate... Severus Snape".

Snape appears out of a limo, wearing his usual black robes and sour expression. The crowd boos and throws tomatoes at him.

"DETENTION FOR ALL OF YOU" he hollered. A security guard pushed him forward and slapped him. "You're going the right why for a big detention" Snape muttered before turning and heading up the stairs, into the house.

"What the hell is this, why is this place full of bright colours, I hate bright colours, oh it's so colourful" Snape muttered when he stepped into the house for the first time.

"Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooh, he's gonna be a sulky one, probaly give the housemates detention" Davina spoke thorugh her microphone "ok, let's welcome our next Housemate, a Boald, evil genuis who has a smaller version of himself, ladies and gentle men, Dr evil and Mini-me". Dr evil and Mini-me step out of the next limo and walk up the red carpet.

"Oh look at this Mini-me, we have a crowd cheering us on" Dr Evil gestured. "Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" Mini-me replied. "You rock" yelled a random teen. "Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhht" was Dr Evil's response. "ARRRRRRRRRRRRRFGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH THIS CRAZY DWARF IS HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH MY LEG" yelled one of the bodyguards. The audience, Dr evil and Davina turn around and see Mini-me humping the Security guards leg. "Mini-me, stop it or you won't get any belgium chocolates from daddy" Dr evil ordered. A relunctant Mini-me let go and joined Dr evil up the stairs and through the doors.

The boaldy and his clone entered the house and the first thing they saw was Snape on the sofa. "Ooooooh look, It's Dracula" Dr Evil retaliated. Mini-me giggled but Snape was far from impressed. "DETENTION YOU BOALD BUM BUM" Snape hollered "HOW DARE YOU COMPARE ME TO A VAMPIRE" Mini-me squeaked and hid behind Dr Evil. "You scared Mini-me" Dr evil said in a sinister tone "and when Mini-me get's scared Dr evil gets angry and you wouldn't like Dr evil when he's angry, now shut up and go back to your sulking".

"I think I'm going to have nightmares" Davina lied "Right, shall we bring out our next Housemate?". The audience roared in response. "Ok, Let's welcome the only foreign Housemate, all the way from kazickstan (hope that's spelled right) Borat". The Audience squeals when Borat arrives.

"Hola, my name a Borat, I like you, I like sex, it's nice" Borat says to the Audience before turning to go into the house where Dr Evil and Snape are fighting over a cup.

"It's mine you greasy haired twit" Dr Evil snarled. "No it isn't, detention for youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu" Snape hollered. "Hola, I'm a Borat " Borat said when he first stepped into the house. "Detention for interupting our fight over a simple mug" Snape spat. Borat looks puzzled. "Are you serious, can I hug you?". Snapes eyes widenen in horror and runs away with Borat on his tail. "Let me kiss you, I like you, Give Borat a hug" he sang. "No way you moron" Snape retaliated. Dr evil and Mini-me just stare.

"Oh, that Borat is crazy crazy" Davina said trying to use her best Borat-like accent,. right, let's introduce or next Housmeate, Darth vader". The imperial Death march plays as Darth vader appears out of nowhere. "Never cross the power of the dark side" he addressed to the audience who threw tomatoes at him. "Why do I even bother?" he muttered then walking into the house where Borat was still chasing Snape.

"Just one hug for Borat, come on, Nice nice". Darth vader shook his head in shame. "This (breath) place is full of (breath) idiots" and he sat down and picked up a magazine. "Ooooooooh that (breath) girl is a (breath) tart" he said as he read an article.

"Wow, I still can't believe that Severus Snape is being chased by Borat, ahem (turns around and gozzes on the pathment) sorry had a bit of phelgm in the back of my throat, please excuse me, I don't want to spit in public but I couldn't help it". The Audience dies from shame but where replaced about ten seconds later by clones.

"Are we back, right let's bring out our next Housemate. Now you probaly know this guy from the first Batman film, a bit crazy, smiles alot. Ok our next Housemate is the Joker". The audience starts laughing when The Joker starts doing some ridiculas dance routine down the red carpet, up the stairs and into the house.

"Will you stop chasing me for the love of god I'm not that kind of man" snape begged as Borat continued to chase him. "But I want to hug you, I love hugging new faces" Borat replied.

"Will you two stop (breath) fooling around. The new Housemate's arrived" Darth Vader shouted. "Can I ask you a question?" Joker asked, walking over to Darth vader. "What?" he asked then breathing. "You ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?". Darth Vader looks dumbfounded. "What are you (breath) talking about?" he asked. "I just like using that catchphrase" Joker replied. "Oh I wanna hug you all" Borat squealed.

"Oh crap, he's gonna go all kissy on us" Joker retaliated. Soon, Borat was chasing the other Housemates around the house attempting to hug them all.

"Who wants to be the first to give uncle Borat a hug?"

Davina turns around and places her earring back in. "Oh my earring just fell out, Oh have we gone to commercial? right, we'll see you after the break where we'll introuce our next set of Housemates".

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That's the first chapter up, but what Characters shall I have in the next chapter? Please leave a review telling me what you think and what Characters I should introduce in the next chapter.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy it so far, I will try and make it as funny as possible. So please leave a review telling me if you like it but I don't want any Flamers mind. Well that's all folks, chapter two will be up as soon as possible. Bye bye fellow readers :)


	2. More housemates

More Housemates

"Hello and welcome back to Big Brother" Davina hollered as she waved her right arm wildly and the audience cheered.

"Now, let's introduce the last set of Housemates, I don't know who they are so don't ask me". The audience giggles but are unaware that Borat is still attempting to hug the other Housemates that are there.

"Oh just one hug, Let's all do a group hug" he said. "No you Italian-like hotdog" Dr evil barked.

"Ok, let's bring out our next Housemate. You may know him from the three Pirates of the carribean Movies. It's Captain jack sparrow." A slightly drunk Jack sparrow staggers up the red carpet holding a bottle of rum. Squeals from fan girls can be heard, knickers and bras fly in all sorts of directions.

"Is this the place where you meet people that you don't know?" he slurred. A security guard gave him a push and he staggered up the stairs and into the house. Borat was still chasing after everyone. "Aye up what's happening here then?" the Pirate asked. Everyone stopped running and stared at the unusualy dressed Housemate. "Aiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" Mini-me squealed jumping into Dr evil's arms.

"It's a (breath)pirate" Darth vader pointed out. "I can see that you breathing washing machine " Snape barked. "I'm Captain jack sparrow, captain of the seven seas" he said cheerfully, holding his hand out. The others exchaged glances of confusion. Captain jack takes a swig from his rum and then trips up over the coffee table as the Housemates burst into streaks of hilarious giggles.

"We should have told you about the coffee table" Dr evil said as he placed his pinky to his mouth and did his trademark evil laugh "Muhahahahahahaahahahahahaha".

"Oh dear, he'll be out until tomorrow" Davina said . "Ok, let's bring out our first female Housemate, another from the Harry potter realm. It's Hermione Granger". The crowd cheers when Hermione makes her appearance. "Too bad I can't do magic, I could have turned all the naughty Housemates into Toads" she said before waving to a group of boys who were wolf-whistling at her. "Stop flirting you boys, I'm not a slut" and she walked into the doors of the house.

"Oh my god, it's all men... Oh hell no,Snape" she gasped. "That's proffessor snape to you and A Detention for you're snobbyness" he barked. "Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh busted" the Joker said in a sing-song vocie. Hermione glared at him.

"He can't give me a detention because I'm not in school" she said before heading over to a corner with a stack full of books. "How dare she say that. I can give her a Detention if i want, now let's see if there is a Detention room in this god for saken colourful house" and he went on his search.

"Let's hope that Hermione can keep all those Male Housemates in order. God, Men are so typical arn't they?". The crowd Laughs in response.

"Ok then, let's bring out our last two Housemates. This one is another man. Ohno. Ok let's welcome our next Housemate...Ali g". The crowd cheers as Ali g makes his appearnce in his trademark clothing.

"Boyakasha" he said clicking his figners "I iz a housemate in da bigbrother housei nnit" and he walked into the house doing rap moves.

"Iz you da Housmeates then?" he asked. "He kinda looks like bozo over there" the Joker said pointing over to Borat. "It's Borat, not bozo" Borat said. "I iz Ali g, I am da rap master, boyackasha".

"Ooooooooooooooooooooookay, shall we bring out our next Housmate. And this one is a female. So shall we welcome...Rachel Ferrier, From the 2005 movie war of the worlds. Plus she's the youngest Housemate ever to enter the big brother house". The crowd watches as the nervouse Ten-year-old girl walks up the carpet, wearing the same clothes that she wore in the movie.

"I'm going to stay in that big House?" Rachel asked. "Yes you are. it's ok" Davina reassured. Rachel smiled and walked into the house.

"What, there's a fricken kid here?" Dr evil shouted as young Rachel stood in the centre. "Watch your lanquage" Hermione barked. "Sorry miss bossy boots" Dr evil said pouting."Why is it mainly guys?" Rachel wondered. Borat walked up to here, picked her up and gave her a big hug. "Oh, you are such an adorable little girl, I could just hug you all the time" Borat chanted. "Can you put me down becasue I can't breath" Rachel said, gasping for air. "Oh sorry" said Borat as he lowered her onto the ground.

"Ok, now I didn't tell you that there was going to be a special guest Housemate. She has been on before and we can gurantee that she may cause your eardrums to exsplode so I suggest you all put in your ear plugs because Nikki is back". A loud shriek is heard that causes all the car windows to smash(but not the big brother windows because they made them Nikki-prook in case she should ever return to the Big Brother house) and Nikki came in veiw, her long blonde hair in a ponytail, wearing a pink t-shirt and overalls and generally screaming. "Oh, I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack, In the house yaaaaaaaaaaaaay" she wailed. A security guard grabbed her by the waist, carried her up the stairs and tossed her through an open window.

"Shut up Bitch" he barked as she screamed. Nikki flew through the window and landed right in front of the Joker.

"Well hello" he said in a frisky voice. Nikki took one look at him, screamed and scarpered into the bedroom. "I think you scared her" Rachel protested.

"Ok, we have all our housemates, including the screaming blonde girl, Nikki. Well I'm getting out of here now, so don't forbget to read the rest" and she turned on her jet pack and flew into the sky.


	3. Hokey,pokey,pillowfights and fart machin

Hokey pokey,pillow fights and fart machines

Day one in Da house

Morning:

The first Morning started of with everyone in bed, not for long. Dr evil was the first to wake up and was sneaking up on Darth vader, pillow at the ready.

"Eeeeeeeeeee?" Mini-me asked, waking up. Dr Evil gestured for him to shut up and whacked Darth with the pilow. "You(breath) idiot, do you challenge a pillow fight?". Dr Evil nodded. "WAKE UP EVERYONE, WE ARE HAVING A PILLOW FIGHT" Dr Evil hollered as everyone woke up.

"Booyackasha, we iz aving a pillow fight innit" Ali g protested. "Nice nice" replied Borat. Soon, everyone, apart from Snape who didn't want to join in because he's a mardy bastard was taking part in the almighty pillow fight.

"Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay, I'm going to smack you with my almighty pillow" Nikki screeched. chasing Rachel around who was hitting Mini-me with her pillow.

"Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, Darth's got a fluffy pillow" The Joker cooed in a mock-like voice. Darth vader hit him with the fluffy pillow. "Awww, that's not fair, you got fluff in my mouth now" and he began chasing after Captain jack.

After everyone got fed up with pillow fighting, they all had some breakfast. "AIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE, THE MILK, THE MILK IS SOUR, IT'S SOUUUUUUUUR"Nikki screamed. Everyone gave her strange looks. "Da milk isn't sour" Ali g informed. Nikki whacked him with her flip-flop. "YES IT IS" she screamed. She had a hissy fit for about ten minutes before diving in the pool, fully clothed.

"I wonder now long it'll be before she stops screaming like that?" Rachel wondered. "Dunno, she's crazy" Hermione replied.

Afternoon:

"Ok, after dinner, we are going to dance to the Hokey Pokey" The Joker informed. "Why are we doing that?" Rachel asked curiously.

"Because I wanna dance the hokey pokey hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha, I love doing the hokey pokey". Everyone gave him strange looks. After dinner, everyone

had gathered in a circle, doing the Hokey Pokey.

"All right then you guys, let's get ready to do the hokey pokey, you put your right arm in, you're right arm out, in,out,in,out, you shake it all about, you do the hokey pokey and you turn around, and that's what it's all about" and everyone ran into the circle whilst yelling "OOOOOOOOOOOOH HOKEY POKEY, WOAAAAAAAAAH HOKEY OAKEY POKEY, WOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH HOKEY OAKEY POKEY". Snape was joining in relunctantly. "Ok then, we go on to the next part hahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaaha, you put your left arm in, your left arm out, in,out,in,out,you shake it all about, you do the hokey pokey and you turn around and that's what it's all about" and they concluded doing the hokey pokey for three hours.

"Can we (big breath) stop now, you're tiring us out" Darth vader begged. After the three hour Hokey pokey was finished, everyone just skipped around the house whilst singing "zip pa dee doo daa".

Evening.

"What are you doing?" Darth asked when the Joker was rummaging behind the cushion that was agaisnt Darth. "Oh, just checking for coins(snickers)". Darth vader nodded. "Oh, well there's no coins behind there, I'll check in the bedroom" and the Joker walked away snickering. There was an awkard silience in the house until "paaaaaaaaaaaaarp". Everyone looked up from what they were doing to see where the noise was coming from. "What was that noise?" Borat wondered. "Paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarp". Everyone looked at Darth vader who was reading a magazine on "how to exterminate a jedi". "paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarp". The noise was coming from Darth vader. "I think old Darthy's had too many baked beans" Captain jack sparrow chuckled. "Paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarp" the noise went again. "ooooooooooh, heck that must be nasty" Dr evil said. "Paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarp". The others looked at the sith-lord in disguist.

"Yo, Darth, lay of da beans, bo ya" Ali g declared. Darth vader looked at him in confusion. "What are you (breath) talking about?" he asked. "look, We can hear your farts from over there" Snape informed. "But I'm (breath) not farting" Darth denied. Suddenly, a hysterical laugh was heard from inside the bedroom. Darth rummaged behind the cushion and pulled out a Fart machine as the Joker came running into the scene, completly laughing his head off. "Looks like you fell victim to my fart machine hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahhahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhaahahahahaha

(five hours later) hahahahahahahahahahah". Everyone threw fluffy cushions at him. "What's the whole deal with these fluffy pillows anyway, do people that come here have a thing about fluffy pillows?"


	4. let's go Chavmania

let's go chav-mania

Day 2

Morning:

The sound of rain could be heard tapping agaisnt the Nikki-proof windows. The men of the big brother house were snoring and the girls had marshmallows in their ears plus Snape had lost his marbles in the middle of the night so he got up and started searching for them.

"Excuse me, but what are you doing?" Rachel asked curiosuly. "I've lost my Marbles and I'm looking for them" Snape grumbled. Rachel shrugged and climbed out of bed to get a drink of orange juice. Snape crawled under his bed to see if his Marbles had fallen under there, but they hadn't. "If i don't find my Marbles then I'm going to tear my hair out,MY HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR". Ali g threw a sock which landed in Snape's open mouth. "Shut up yo Emo" he said. Snape grunted and folded his arms in a spoilt brat like manner. Soon, everyone was up except for Dr evil who was up late planning for world domination until three in the morning. "How come it's always the boald ones that are lazy?" the Joker asked as he attempted to pull Dr Evil out of bed by the ankles "Mr freeze doesn't get out of bed until lunch time". After two hours solid, Dr Evil had finally risen from his pit.

"What's for Breakfast?" he asked, sitting down and getting out the morning paper. "Breakfast finsihed two hours ago" Hermione said sternly. "Oh, i've missed it then?" dr evil asked, putting his pinky to his mouth. "And don't do that, it's really annoying" Hermione barked. Dr Evil Flipped her off.

"Ok, this is Big Brother and today, you will all be talking and dressing like chavs, all the chav clothes and situated in the Diary room" announced the big Brother anouncer. Afterwards, everysingle housemate, apart from Ali g who is a chav twenty-four seven, where all dressed like chavs and talking like chavs.

Chav-Snape was walking through the living room and saw Chav-Joker on the sofa in between Chav- vader and Chav-Dr evil. "Yo dude, waddup with yo?" asked Chav-snape. " Nothing dawg, I iz Just chillin wit me Homies" replied Chav-Joker putting both his hands behind his head. "Ok dude, I iz gonna go and do something that iz chav" Chav-snape replied and walked off in a pathetic chav fashion.

"Why iz yo pickingo n me, iz it coz I iz borat?" Chav-Borat asked Ali g. "No dude, I iz saying that the chav outfit suits you dude" replied Ali g. Chav-Borat thanked him and went to cook some chicken rice and peas.

Afternoon:

It was afternoon and the Hosuemates where still dressed like Chavs. Chav-Jack Sparrow was rooting through the fridge for rum.

"Wat Iz ya doing ya pirate?" Chav-Rachel asked. " I iz looking for rum innit, I iz wantinmg to be drunk" said Chav-Jack sparrow. "Well, yo won't find rum in da house becasue rum is banned in da house" and she walked away. Chav-Jack Sparrow flipped big brother off.

Chav-Dr evil and Chav-mini-me where break dancing on the table as the others gathered around to watch. "That iz well wikid innit?" Chav-borat said, clicking his fingers at a rapid pace.

Sometime later, Chav-Joker was watching football when the phone rang, he picked it up. "Yo" he replied. It was Chav-Dr evil. "Hey man, what iz ya doing" he asked. "Nothing, watching da game, having a cola" Chav-Joker spoke into the reciever. "True, true" said Chav-Dr Evil. Suddenly, Chav-Snape appeared from behind Chav-Dr evil and yelled "WASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSUUUUUUUUUUUUP". Chav-Joker yelled "WASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPP"down the phone too. "Yo, Darth. Pick up Da phone" Chav-Dr Evil beckoned. Chav-Vader picked up the phone. "Yo?" he asked. "WASSSSSSSSSSSSSSUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPP" came the voice of Chav-Joker from the other end. "WASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP" yelled Chav-vader in response. Soon everyone was doing it. The whole Big Brother house was filled with the sound of "WASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPPPP".

Evening:

That evening, everyone was allowed to take off their Chav clothes and change into their orignal clothes. "Oh I hated being a chav, chavs smell" Nikki Sobbed. "Hey" said Ali g offended.

Rachel and Hermione were also thrilled to get outo f the chav mode. "Now, you won't see me dressing like that again" Hermione laughed. soon, everyone went to bed. oh by the way, Snape found his marbles. They were in his hair all along.

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If you read this story then please can you leave a review telling me what you think. It really helps to encourage me to make them more interesting and I do want to make this one interesting to read and to cheer people up. Thankyou.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Day three

Morning:

"Do-wobbly-wobbly,ooh,ohh,when the saints go marching in, I want to be,in that number, when the saints go marching in" Dr Evil sang that morning. Darth Vader gave him a strange look. " Do you have to start singing so (breath) early?" he asked. "Yes I do Darth" Dr Evil replied "oh, when the saints go marching in, I want to be in that number, when the saints go marching in" he sang again. "Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" Mini-me sang. "Take it mini-me" ordered Dr Evil. "Eeeeeeeeeeeee" Mini-me sang as Dr Evil once again sang "when the saaaaaaaaaiiinnnnnnnntttttttsssssss go marching in, do wob,wob, dabbadee doooooooo, yeah". Hermione and Nikki were discussing the bad habits that men have.

"Isn't it disguisting when they burp with-out covering their mouths?" Hermione asked. "Totally, it's so minging, gross and revolting" Nikki replied who had spoken too soon when the Joker let out a rather loud belch. Hermione and Nikki gave him a look of disguist. "What?" he asked, pretending that he didn't do anything. "Do you have to burp that loud?" Hermione asked with a disgusted look on her face. The Joker nodded with a large grin on his face. "Oh, you men" Nikki moaned. Darth vader looked insulted. "I don't have (breath) bad habits" he denied. "Yeah right, I heard you burping last night" little Rachel replied. "I don't release that I'm burping (breath) in my sleep young lady" Vader snapped making Rachel look nervous. "Thats enougha. I don'ta like this sorta talka" said Borat, throwing his hands in the air.

"Oh when the saints go marching in" Dr Evil continued to sing. "Shut up" aid everyone. "Sorry guys, I was getting carried away, yeah" replied Dr Evil, putting on a pout.

Later that morning, Nikki was still complaining about the bad habits that men have.

"It's a bloke's habit, Burping and farting" said Dr Evil in defense "that guy who looks like Jack Nicholson let out a big burp this morning" he said, pointing over at the Joker who was constantly giggling at the picture he had just drawn. "What is that supposed to be?" Rachel asked, looking at the drawing which was of Batman being devoured by radioactive piranhas with three heads in a vat of green custard. "It's a Giant bat being eaten by radioactive piranhas with three heads" the Joker replied. "Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww" screamed Rachel, running away. "Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha, I love it when they run away like that" he giggled.

Afternoon:

"Stop burping Ali g" Nikki spat after Ali g had burped for the seventeenth time. "But I iz a bloke innit, I iz burping like one innit" he replied in defense. "Oh, you men are so revolting" she screeched. Hermione and Rachel tried not to giggle and Snape was miserably playing with his food. "Hey (breath) snape, don't you like your potatoes?" Darth vader asked. "No, they taste horrible" replied Snape in a dark, sinister tone. "Ooooooooooh, hesa mardy" said Borat. "Here mate, have some rum" said Captain jack, offering Snape a silver bottle of rum which he tunred his nose up at. "I don't want any of your blasted rum" Snape barked in fury. "Sorry mate" said Captain Jack feeling a little insulted.

"Oh, when the saints go marching in, I want to be in that number, when the saints go marching in" Dr Evil sang yet again. "We have got to make him shut-up or that song is going to be stuck in my head all the time" Hermione mumbled. "Ooooooooooh yeah, when the saints go marching in, do wob-a-dee-doo" he continued. "THAT'S IT" Darth Vader snarled, pulling out a piece of duck-tape and slapping it over Dr Evil's mouth. "That's better" he said. "Eeeeeeeeeee, eeee,eeeeeeeee,eeeeeeeee,eeeeeee,eeeee,eeeeeeee" Mini-me sand using the same tune Dr Evil used to sing his song. "Oh give me strengh" Darth Vader growled as he got another piece of Ducktape and slapped it over Mini-me's mouth. "That's (breath) better" Darth Vader sighed.

Evening:

"And that's the end of who wants to be a millionare" the tv blared out. "What else is on?" Nikki moaned. "let's see" Said Hermione flicking through. "Eastenders?" she asked. "No" said everyone in a bored tone. "I know, how about the Simpsons" she suggested when she flicked it over onto the simpsons. "Yeah" cried everyone. So they spent the evening watching the simpsons.


	6. New housemates

new housemates

Day four

Morning:

Nikki had woken everyone up earlier that morning by screaming something that sounded like "GIANT GERBILS ARE CHASING MEEEEEEEEEEEE". They all had to stick their finger's in their ears to block out the god awful noise.

"What's her problem?" Hermione asked Rachel. "I don't know, she's probably been dreaming about being chased by giant gerbils" she replied. Nikki was begining to get on every one nerves so Darth Vader used the force to shut her up.

"That's (breath) better, now I'm going to cook a fry up" and he walked into the kitchen. "Ooooooooh, count me in" Joker said, rubbing his hands together then following Darth into the kitchen.

Later that morning, Big Brother had an annoucement to make to the housemates. "This is big brother, will all housemates gather on the sofa". The housemates gathered on the sofa except for Joker who was making faces in the mirror. "Joker, that includes you aswell" Big brother said. "Ok, if you really want me to then I will do as you command oh great lord of the big brother house" he replied then doing a bowing gesture. "Joker!" the voice said in a stern tone. "Ok, I'm going, don't kill ya self" and he joined the others on the sofa.

"Housemates, just to let you know that two new housemates will be arriving shortly" Big brother announced. "Who are these newbies then, will it be a yeti and a martian?" Joker asked before giggling. "No, they are both movie characters, now shut up so that I can introduce the first new housemate. Ok, let's welcome...C3po". The doors opened and C3po walked in whilst saying "Hi there, I am C3po human cyborg relations". Darth vader stood up and walked up to the golden droid.

"Do you (breath) know who I am?" he asked. "Yes, you're Darth vader and you destroyed my creator" replied C3po. "No, I am your creator" Darth replied. Imidiatly, 3po stepped back.

"No, it's not true, that's impossible" he screamed in horror. "Search your feelings, you know it be true" said Darth, trying to reason with 3po who just screamed "nooooooooooooooooooooooo,no,no". The other's looked dumbfounded and confused at that dramatic moment.

"Look what happened to the little boy who built me,he's gone evil,he's turned to the dark side" he told the rest of the housemates. "Really?" asked Snape who was clearly unimpressed.

"Now if you'd all like to gather around because the second new housemate has arrived. Ok, please welcome...Chewbacca". The housemates looked on as the giant hairy beast known as Chewbacca entered.

"Roaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr" he bellowed.

"Ok, that's our two new housemates, you may now go about your buisness. Also, we'll be adding two more housemates on Day eight".

Afternoon:

"Why are you so tall?" Rachel asked Chewie.

"Roar, grrrarrrrrr,snarl, (translation): Generally all wookies grow up to about seven foot long, that's why I'm so tall" Chewy replied. "Sorry, I can't understand you with all that growling and snarling you do" and she walked off to see what Hermione was up to.

Meanwhile, Dr Evil and Mini-me were exsploring the garden. "Do you see any interesting features that we could use for world domination?" he asked his miniture clone. Mini-me nodded and pointed over to the swimming pool.

"Oh yes, that looks like a good feature for world domination, we'll build a giant swimming pool and fill it with nuclear reactors then push the whole word in and they will all turn into ugly mutants" and he put his pinky to his mouth and did his evil laugh.

Evening:

"Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaheeheeeheehahahahahahahahahahahahahaha,woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo,weeeeeeeeeeeeee" Joker said as he jumped up and down on the sofas like he was on a very springy pogo stick.

"What's up with him?" Snape asked Darth.

"I think he's been at the candy cuboard again and he's gone all hyperactive. Sugar rush" Darth explained as he and Snape watched as Joker now started bouncing around the house yelling "woooooooooooooooooooooo, look at me, ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" and he ran outside and starting bouncing around the gardern.

"I think we need to keep him away from the sugar supplies" Darth suggested.

--

Well that's it for today folks,so what crazy antics will our housemates get up to and what two new housemates should I introduce on day eight? more coming soon and don't forget to review.


	7. the new housemate's first day

The new housemate's first day

Morning:

Since arriving in the Big Brother house, Chewbacca had been given a device that will help him to speak English instead of his usual growl. He had to go to the Diary room to retrieve it.

"Chewbacca, once you've put this device around around your neck, you will be able to speak in Englihs, how is that for you?" asked Big Brother.

"growl" Chewbacca responded as he put on the device.

"How does it feel Chewbacca?" Big Brother asked. "Weird, oh my god I'm speaking in English" said Chewbacca in amazement. "Thankyou Chewbacca, you may now leave the Diary room". Chewbacca got up and walked out of the Diary room.

"What is that thing around your neck?" C3po asked. "It's a device that makes me English" Chewbacca replied. "Very fascinating I must say" stated C3po, admiring the device. "At least we can understand you when you speak" Snape replied in his usual cold tone. Chewbacca rolled his eyes and decided to ignore him.

"This is Big Brother, will Severus Snape please come to the Diary room" boomed Big Brother. Snape got out of the chair he was sat in and walked towards the diary room.

"Are you in trouble snivelly?" the Joker asked in a teasing voice. Snape flipped him off and made his way to the Diary he was in there, he plonked himself on the chair and folded his arms.

"Severus, you have been called to the diary room due to sarcasm" Big Brother announced.

"No shit sherlock" Snape grumbled. "Severus, just a few seconds ago, you made a sarcastic comment about chewbacca speaking english, Big Brother has given Chewbacca the device so that the other housemates can understand him" Big Brother explained. Snape yawned in boredem and folded his arms. He clearly wasn't bothered.

"Severus, if this sort of behaviour ever happens again, Big Brother will have no choice but to suspend you, do you understand?"

"Yes, I understand, can I go now?" Snape asked.

"Thankyou Severus, you may nowl eave the diary room".

"At last" Snape sighed,getting up and walking out.

"Did old Snivelly get into trouble?" the Joker asked, noticing that Snape was in a foul mood.

"Shut it Clown" Snape growled. "But, you seemed in such a foul mood when you came out of the Diary room, oh wait, you're always in a foul mood, hahahahahahahahaha". Some of the other Housemates found themselves giggling a little at the Joker's comment.

"Do I look like I care?" Snape thundered.

"Ooooooooooooooooh, stroppy arn't we, hahahahahahahahahahaha". Snape rolled his eyes and buried himself in the morning paper.

"I think Snivelly's in a grump again" the Joker pointed out.

Afternoon:

Snape's mood hadn't changed for the past hour and he still was reading the newspaper, avoiding eye contact with any of the other housemates. Recently, the Joker had discovered the cameras in the house and became quite fascinated by them. He started walking up to them, grinning evily until his face was close up to the camera and all the viewers could see was his grinning face.

"Joker, don't stand to close to the cameras, you'll scare away the viewers" Captain Jack said. Imdietly, he jumped away from the cameras and saluted.#

"I,I, captain". Dr Evil and Mini-me were in the garden, discussing on world domination.

"We could plant a nuclear bomb in the north pole and we could tell the world to pay us 10 million dollars otherwise, we'll exsplode the bomb and it will cause a nuclear floor, bwuahahahahahahahahahaha".

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" Mini-me squealed in delight. "You make daddy so proud" Dr Evil cooed.

Chewbacca was having his fur brushed by Rachel in the living room.

"When was the last time you brushed your fur?" the little girl asked. "Not for years" Chewbacca replied. "Rachel?" he asked suddenly, looking at her curiously.

"What?" she asked. "How old are you?" asked Chewbacca.

"I'm Ten" Rachel replied. "You're the youngest housemate in the house?" asked the big hairy creature.

"I'm the only kid. I'm the first ever kid to take part in big brother" she replied. "You mean, they don't have children in here often?". Rachel shook her head "No, I'm the first" and she continued to brush Chewbacca's fur and it made him look alot tidier.

Evening:

Most of the housemates where sat in the bedroom talking generally. Snape had fallen asleep.

"How are you going to sleep 3po?" Hermione asked. She and Rachel were sat cross-legged on the same bed.

"I do not sleep, I shut myself down" replied C3po. "Do you have a red-button,you know, the self-destruct kind?" the Joker asked. "That it is impossible sir, the chances of me having a self-destruct are a possibilty of zero to one" the droid informed. "But, don't all Robots have a self-destruct button?" the Joker asked. "No sir" C3po replied. "Ok,but if you do ever find a self-destruct button, let me know" the Joker informed.

"Why is that sir?" C3po asked. "Because, I want to press it, hahahahahahahahaha" the Joker laughed.

"Certainly not sir" replied C3po in a squeaky voice. "He is really weird" Rachel said as she watched the Joker waltz out of the room. "I one hundred percent agree" replied Hermione.


End file.
